Only the beginning
by Mb3248
Summary: Takes place after Eclipse. Please ignore Breaking Dawn. OneShot. Jacob's POV. "Maybe I was meant to fall in love with Bella Swan, to only have my heart broken in the end. Maybe I was meant to go through all this pain." Jacob is moving on.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, or these characters. **

**All belongs to Stephanie Meyer.**

_This is my first story. I hope you guys like it. _

_This is how I thought it would have happened_

_If Bella never got knocked up, and if Jacob was_

_Strong enough to move on. (:_

_I'm team Jacob, but I don't hate Edward, I just_

_Prefer Jacob. _

_If you don't like him, I can care less._

_Ha. _

_Enjoyyy._

Although I've spent my entire life in the same small sheltered town of La Push, Washington, I've learned a lot in the past few months that I have in my whole life.

In the weeks since leaving La Push, it's been bitter sweet, and surreal. Sweet, because of the new silence I have so greatly desired, but bitter because of what caused me to leave. It came to the point where I couldn't handle, or face the pain any longer.

Yeah, I know I can't do this forever, sooner or later I'm going to have to face this screwed up reality that is my life.

I think it's about time for me to come to terms with everything that has happened. I've already accepted what I am; a werewolf that is. Now it's time for me to accept she wants to be with "him". To spend forever with "him"; and not me. It's going to be hard, I know that. But what other choices do I have? The girl I'm madly in love with doesn't want me. Wow, those three words sting; Doesn't. Want. Me. But how can I blame her? He's everything I'm not.

It's time for me to go back. To face everything I've left behind, Jacob black and his problems. And by everything, I mean it. Everything. That includes "her" and "him". How else can I even try to go on and continue my life? I will always love Bella, nothing will ever change that. And that's why I want her to be happy. If "he" and that life is what she wants, why should I object? I know I won't up with her in the end anyway.

All that needs to be done now are, my goodbyes. I don't plan to stay. There, in that place I have no doubt my pain would over take me. That place will always be a constant reminder of what would have been, if "he" didn't exist. The pack would understand I know they would. I wouldn't make pleasant company anyway. They already have one Leah, they don't need two.

I'm ready now - time to run.

Being right outside of La Push, I don't know how to feel; Happy? Sad? Hurt? Depressed? Angry? All of those at once? Maybe.

I'm trying hard not to think, I don't hear anyone, but I want to be sure. Just in case, I think I'll phase.... For the first time. Hopefully I'll remember how to walk, it's been a while.

I was lucky enough not to run into anyone on my way home. I need to see Billy first.

As quietly as I could, I walked into my former home. The secret agent ploy wasn't necessary, the house was empty. Well, at least I have the perfect time to shower and pack for my unsure future.

It felt amazing to shower again. And being fully dressed feels.... Odd. Yeah, that's a nice way to describe it.

Now that I'm clean and packed, it's time to find everyone. Billy and the pack must be at sue's, that's the usual hang out spot.

Before I was even there, I could hear them. Even if I didn't have the extra help from being a werewolf, I would still be able to know where they were. Man, they're loud. I sure missed them.

I slowly opened the gate, and walked in. Yupp, they are all here. And that's when they all turned around with shock on all their faces; speechless. Except for Sam, he must have known. He nodded and winked at me. What a sight, Sam winking.

"The first time you guys see me since.... You know, and you have nothing to say? Yeah, I'm feelin' the love over here." I joked and tried to smile.

"Oh son," Billy rolled over to hug me.

I was suddenly filled with remorse. I could see the pain in his eyes.

"Dad..." Was all I was capable of saying.

That was soon followed by a group hug.

This hurt more than I thought it would.

"What do you mean you're not staying Jake?" Asked Seth with obvious hurt in his eyes. I know how much he looks up to me, and likes having me around.

I took a deep breath and prepared to explain myself.

"You guys know, me being here hurts, it really, hurts. During the past few weeks, I've come to accept a lot. It's time for me to move on with my life, and it's not possible for me to do that here. I need to go out, experience the world, life. It's about time I leave this small town. I'm ready. I have only one last good bye to do, and I'm off." They all knew who that last goodbye belonged to.

"Jake, son..." my dad said. My beloved dad, who I would miss greatly.

"She's changed son. They are married, and she's one of them now."

Before I could even respond, Sam interrupted.

"Considering the circumstances Jacob, we allowed it. No treaty violation,"

"Wait, wait, wait" I interrupted. "You guys, that doesn't matter to me anymore. As we all know, she chose him, not me. I just need to resolve things before, before I can leave this behind me.

I saw tears fall down silently on Emily and Sue's faces.

It hurt me even more to see the people I cared so deeply about hurt - and hurt because of me.

None of them felt comfortable with me going off alone to the Cullen house. I knew they weren't worried about them, but me. Can't they have more trust in me? I guess I haven't shown them much reason to in the first place.

If I can make it through this pain, I know I can make it through anything.

I have no doubt that they would be expecting me. Thanks Alice. I would have preferred a surprised arrival, you know, to make it more dramatic.

I walked up driveway to be met up half way with Edward. He looked at me with an apologetic expression, and his eyes full of pity. I guess I looked pretty bad.

I tried to give him an arrogant smile, to lighten the mood. But he saw right through it. I can't fool anyone anymore can I?

"I'll go get Bella."

"Edward," I said in a flat tone. "I would like to talk to you too."

He nodded, and flew inside. Wow, I forgot how fast vamps are.

When he returned, my eyes were only on her. Geez, she was stunning. She was still the bella I remembered, beside the few changes, and the obvious smell. I just tried to ignore it.

"Jacob..." She said, I heard the pain in her new voice.

It has always hurt Bella to see me hurt. That only made things worse now. Back in the day, that used to give me hope, but not anymore. I know it's too late for any of that.

"Bella, please make this easy for me." I decided to start off with.

She nodded.

"Beside the smell bells, you're unbelievably beautiful. You always have been."

She smiled. That knocked the breath out of me...

"Bella, words can't describe how much I love you. You love me too, I know that. And i've decided, that's enough for me now. I can move on, at least knowing you loved me."

"Love." She corrected.

I smiled; it felt good to hear her say that. Even though it might be the last time.

"Bella, I grew up a lot in the past few weeks. All I want now, is to know your happy," I looked at Edward, "and I know you are."

"I am." She said. "And I want the same for you."

"Bella, you'll always be my best friend, and I want you to know that. Because after this, for me to be able to finally move on in my life, we can't have anymore contact. It would be just to hard for me. And it's hard enough already."

"Jake..." she said, devastated I knew.

"Maybe, the day will come when I can see you again bells. But until then, goodbye. And remember, I love you. I always will."

If vampires could cry, I'm sure that Bella would be shedding a few tears.

"I love you too Jake, don't forget that."

I smiled, and put my hand on Edward's shoulder.

"Take care of her. For me."

"I can do that Jacob Black. I owe you, and I can surely return the favor."

Bella grabbed my hand as I turned to walk away.

The look she had in her eyes only caused me more pain.

"Goodbye bells."

When I was far enough a way, I phased. Phasing made the pain easier to deal with, it was my escape.

The tiny place I previously known as my home, was full of my family.

Sam, Billy, Embry, Quil, Paul, Jared, Seth, Collin, Brady, Emily, Sue, and even Leah came to say goodbye.

Sam pulled me aside.  
"Here," he said, as he handed me a cell phone.

"Its pre-paid, I will keep money on it for you. And it's world-wide, I just wanted to make sure we could always reach you."

"Thanks Sam." I said as I gave him a hug. He's always cared more than he needed to.

After my final goodbyes, I took all my belongings, which isn't much, and packed them, and myself into my rabbit.

As I drove off, I waved goodbye to the faces I grew to love so much.

Right now, I can't help but think that maybe, this was all meant to happen. Maybe I was meant to fall in love with Bella Swan, to only have my heart broken in the end. Maybe I was meant to go through all this pain, because at the end, I'll be a stronger person. I've already grown so much in this short amount of time. So if vampires and werewolves can exist, then why can't fate exist as well?

Yeah, that's what this is, fate.

I'm leaving, again. But this time, I'm not leaving Jacob Black behind me. This time, it's my past I'm leaving behind.

I am Jacob black, and this is only the beginning of my story. The worst has already passed.


End file.
